My iron deficiency
A newsroom discussion about a prank involving an iron recently led me to realize that I have an iron and I don’t know why.
I’ve never used it. I think I learned how to use an iron at one point but I can’t remember the specifics. It might have been from home economics class in high school.
It should also be noted that I did not purchase the iron, but received it as a free give with a vacuum cleaner. Regardless, I’ve never ironed a single pair of trousers or shirt. I suppose that’s appropriate because despite owning an iron, I have no ironing board.
Now, this doesn’t mean I’m not concerned with wrinkles. I actually work diligently to keep my clothes from being wrinkled. But my weapon of choice is the drier, not an iron.
Generally each load of laundry in my house goes through the drier twice. The first time is right before I go to bed when I remember there is a load of clothes in the washer and then fling it into the drier by massive armloads. I set the timer so that the appliance runs long enough to probably dry the clothes twice over, and then go to bed.
The next night I go downstairs to determine the level of remaining wrinkle in the clothes. Any garments found to be wrinkle-free are hung or folded and then a wet towel is placed in the drier before it is turned on. I include the wet towel because someone once told me to do that.
On other occasions, I’ve been known to take a garment into the bathroom and crank up my shower water to an uncomfortable level in order to steam-release some wrinkles. I’ve also tried some of the sprays that help you smooth out a garment.
Perhaps the most off-the-wall trick I heard came from a co-worker who uses his wife’s hair straightener on shirts, mostly to straighten the collar.
I’ll admit, I have some shirts that give me a real problem around the collar. They curl up like bacon or catch a crease in a weird spot that never seems to come out. For those types of problems I have a fool proof fix.
I throw the shirt out.
Yes, I know it’s a waste of money. I know it’s a bad practice and I know it’s lazy – because I have an iron.
I suppose if it was a shirt I really loved, I would try to fix the collar. But clothes and I have a weird relationship. I don’t get attached to garments. If they fit well and look decent I keep them. If they look bad or are uncomfortable I get rid of them. I never become so attached to a article of clothing that I would put in a lot of time to bring it back to a wearable state.
In my mind, if a shirt’s collar is crinkled to the point that I have to break out the iron, it’s become more of a hassle than it’s worth.
-Chad Williamson is the managing editor at the Journal-Tribune.