Off the Hook

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Kids say the darndest things
Many years ago, during the 1950s and ‘60s there was a television show hosted by Art  Linkletter. He was a kind man with a smile on his face and would probably never make it in television now. He was just too nice. One segment of his show was called “Kids say the darndest things,” and that was really the highlight of his show. Most of us who were watching it couldn›t wait until that came on because Art would sit and chat with the children, waiting for their cute remarks.
You never knew what they were going to say.
Recently, when I was talking to my friends about kids saying unusual things, these stories came to light, most of them from their own grandchildren.
First up was a little girl named, Riley. She goes to a private Catholic school and one day the class was having a discussion about professions for men and women. It seemed the teacher was trying to make the point that women could work in any profession now.
Then Riley raised her hand and said, “There’s one thing women can›t be and that’s a priest!” Hmmm, that really made the teacher think. I’m not sure she had a good comeback for that, except that Riley was correct.
Riley’s sister, Maggie, asked her mom one day, “Where does grandma sleep in heaven?” Her mother’s reply was that probably she slept on a cloud. “No,” said Maggie. “That wouldn’t be possible because she would fall through.” What a thinker that young lady is!
Then there was little Sara. I knew her as a little girl. She›s now grown up and I’m really not surprised at her comment, made when she was only about seven years old. Her mom reminded me of this the other day. It was time for the tooth fairy. Sara had lost her second or third tooth and inside the tiny little tooth holder was a little pocket. Inside that pocket little Sara had written a note to the fairy, which her mother discovered.
Written in her little seven-year-old writing, with some words not quite correctly spelled was, “Please don’t hold this against me tooth fairy, but actually the last time I think you were kind of cheap.” The note finished probably noting her friends did a lot better for their lost teeth.
Then there was the little four-year-old boy, who along with his dad, was visiting a second Santa Claus. In fact, it was the second one in two weeks.
He sat down on Santa’s lap and Santa said to him the usual – “What do you want for Christmas?” Of course, that was a legitimate question.
The little boy’s reply was, “Don’t you remember? I just told you two weeks ago.” Whoops! Santa said something like, “Oh, I see so many kids, I just need to be reminded.” Here’s another little guy on top of the situation.
The comments below were sent to me from a friend and that’s what really got me started on this adventure of asking my other friends about their children’s funny comments.
These all involve  teachers. Just think, in addition to all the trials of being a teacher you get to enjoy these children›s statements almost every day. I hope you like them, too.
Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years.
Teacher: What? How is this possible?
Kid: He became a father only when I was born.
Logic! Children Are quick and always speak their minds.

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.

Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
Glenn: k-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l.
Teacher: No, that’s wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
There could be a little smart mouth involved here.

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it›s H to O.

Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No sir, it’s the same dog.

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
Whoops, another smart mouth!
Children really do brighten our lives so much and make us laugh with their view of the world.
(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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