Recently, I read a statement from a man I respect tremendously.
I don’t always agree with his politics or the level of his certainty, but I like him and I know he has a good heart, so we can still be friends.
A law enforcement leader, he recently wrote that “The phrase ‘mostly peaceful’ is the epitome of an oxymoron. It either is or it ain’t!”
I would urge caution in that statement, arguing that he is wrong.
Earlier this week Marysville had a feel-good moment. Members of the community gathered Monday to show support for the Marysville High School football team as well as local and national first responders.
There was a rally, a march and most went home feeling good. It was “mostly peaceful.”
I went home angry, frustrated, shaken and mostly sad.
I covered the event for the Journal-Tribune.
While many marched east on Fifth Street, I walked to get a picture of the group when it turned west again. As I neared the route, I saw a man with the “Ohio Proud Boys,” an ultra-right-wing group that describes themselves as being “western chauvinists” and “anti-white guilt.”
He was standing guard at the corner and I took his picture. He quickly approached me and asked why I was taking his picture. He didn’t give me time to answer before he walked into me and pushed my chest. I told him not to touch me and he did it again. This time I warned him to stop. I pulled my camera up to take his picture. And this detail is a bit fuzzy, but he either swatted my camera from my hands or snatched it out of my hands and quickly threw it.
I went to retrieve my phone and the man began to walk away. I wanted to get his picture in case my phone was broken and because I was not going to be bullied by a hate monger.
This man used his American flag and pole to swat at my camera and to jab and hit me. He yelled that I needed to get away. Lost on him was the irony that he was at a Red, White and Blue rally, hitting me with an American flag while I was performing the only job deemed by our forefathers so essential to our democracy that they specifically protected it in the Constitution.
He asked why I was taking his picture. I explained that I work for the newspaper documenting the rally and the Proud Boys’ participation. He asked why I was interested in the Proud Boys. I said it is a sexist and racist group and I told him that any extremist group would be documented the same way. He screamed that I was a liar and a pedophile.
Moments later a group of fellow Proud Boys surrounded me, their leader wearing pistols. He wanted to know if I had called his friend a racist. I told him that I had called the organization racist.
Like the first, he invaded my personal space in an effort to intimidate. Unlike the other, he did not touch me.
He was much calmer. He explained that he was the good guy and despite their actions, they really are just a men’s fraternity. He said this group was part of the Dayton chapter. He said that while they are nonviolent, the Proud Boys will assault people they feel disrespect them or their beliefs. His language and tone varied between calm, even conciliatory at times, to menacing to combative.
Eventually, my coworker, former U.S. Army Sgt. Sam Dillon, who was also covering the rally, had the cooler head that prevailed and walked me out of the situation that was gradually spiraling downward.
The two takeaways from this event are about empathy.
First, I am confident that none of the organizers and likely few of the participants wanted the Proud Boys there. They were not invited and they don’t represent the views of those that were. But in the same way it would be unfair to paint our city officials and residents with the same brush as the Proud Boys, it is equally unfair to paint peaceful protesters with the same brush as rioters and looters. It is both unfair and un-American to forbid a pro-flag rally because fringe and hate groups will attend. It is equally unfair and un-American to say those seeking racial equality can’t march because fringe and hate groups will come. The same way police, fire and military or even most Marysville residents who attended Monday’s rally don’t want a hate group speaking for them, Antifa does not speak for most people seeking social change.
Second is this: just because someone looks like or grew up with or even went to the same event as you, does not mean everyone has the same experience.
Most folks have no idea there was a confrontation in Marysville. So, their experience and mine were very different. It is very naive to assume you know someone else’s experiences and it is sheer ignorance to tell them how they should feel about something you have no idea about.
I do not blame the police, firefighters, the football team, the local politicians who attended or spoke, the marchers or anyone but the Proud Boys. None the less, when I think of this rally, it is their actions I will remember.
So, in a time when we are so divided, please remember that the actions of a few should not and cannot define an entire group of people, even if that would be a convenient and self-serving narrative. Don’t use your life experiences to judge those of others’.
This is not about politics, it is about being human.