Off the Hook


Tales of craziness
Recently I’ve had some crazy events happen around me and to my friends. You may remember this periodically happens! Last week I was in the car for the first one. I am thankful that this crazy person didn’t hurt us or anyone else, as far as I know, and that we were driving behind him or her and not in front of the pickup truck.
The trip to Columbus for dinner started off in an unbelievable way. We were headed down Rt. 33 toward Dublin and about halfway there we spotted a tan colored pickup truck which was having trouble staying in it’s own lane. The driver was swerving on this bright early evening, so we could easily see it all happening. The driver swerved almost into the grassy median, then to the other side of his own lane then, at one point, the vehicle went all the way across all three lanes and back to the other side. All the other drivers were trying to stay clear of it. It was the worst and scariest driving display I’ve ever seen.
One of my friends in the car called 911. She’d never done this before and wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but this was pretty scary. We are not sure that the people in front of the pickup could even see what was happening, but there was a wide berth between that driver and everyone else.
The 911 operator was glad to hear from my friend and said she was the second phone call about the pickup. The police in the area were trying to find the vehicle, but didn’t know exactly where it was. My friend tried to pinpoint the location and then as she was talking, the car swerved from the right lane, across three lanes and into the far left lane. I don’t know how the driver missed hitting the concrete divider, which is in place just as you reach the Dublin area.
We thought for sure this was going to be the end of the story, but the truck went back over to the middle, all this time traveling at about 60 mph. Our last report to the operator was that the driver was headed toward the narrow, concrete-walled exit ramp to 270 north. How could the driver negotiate that? I use that exit often and find it narrowing to one lane there, an interesting merge.
We don’t know what happened, but it was crazy to watch this erratic display of driving. Thankfully, there was no news about a crash in the area, but we expected one.
I know police are experienced at this, but I can’t imagine how hard it is to stop someone like that, even with lights and sirens, because obviously the person couldn’t control the vehicle. Hopefully, this somehow ended peacefully.
It was just recently that I heard this stimulating story – I guess we can say that. A person (who, of course, you will see why, doesn’t want to be identified) that I know did a really whacky thing. She had a sore back and got up in the middle of the night to spray on some pain reliever. That went well, so when she got out of the shower in the morning, looking for more pain relief, she sprayed her back again. That’s when the problem occurred.
Apparently the spray hangs in the air for a while and she had quickly pulled on her underwear … oh no … and the spray was then trapped inside near a very delicate area! The stinging began and washing with water, intensified it. There was some mild screaming and I am told, the discomfort continued for about two hours.
So, we will consider she has done some valuable research for her fellow man. Here’s the warning – be very careful with that spray pain reliever! I’m pretty sure she will never use it again. I love that my friends are such valuable sources of material and it comes to my ears … often.
Here’s the other freeway irregularity. That’s an understatement! Another friend was recently headed northwest on the Rt. 33 bypass toward the Rt. 31 exit. She said she always drives in the left lane because others are too slow in the right. I am sure she never exceeds the speed limit though … hmmm.
Anyway, this day she was in the right lane, maybe not paying full attention when suddenly a car came at her … that is, the woman in the car driving in the opposite direction in what would be the fast lane, where my friend usually is. She was so grateful not to be there that day. The woman, whom she called elderly, (I’m never quite sure when that applies) may have entered on an exit by mistake.
So my friend was reaching for her cell phone to call 911 when the police arrived, lights and sirens on, and my friend could see in her mirror that they were able to stop the woman heading the wrong way. Whew! That could have ended very differently.
My tips for today – be careful on area roads and, thanks to my friend the researcher, watch out for spray pain relievers!
(Melanie Behrens –

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