Off The Hook


They give us a reason to smile

You hear this all time – being a grandparent is a wonderful thing. They say there’s nothing like it. You get the best part of the child’s life. You don’t have to discipline them much, just have a good time. Well, I believe that’s correct! If you are a grandparent you will know what I mean. If not, bear with me.

Grandchildren say the funniest things, especially in their early years when they are so cute and count on you for learning about the world. These stories seem to fit this thought:

A young boy, about 5 years old, called the other day to wish his grandmother, happy birthday. He asked her how old she was, and she told him, 70. He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at one?”

In that same vein, a grandson was visiting his grandmother one day when he asked her, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” She mentally polished her halo and said, “No, how are we alike?’’ “You’re both old,” he replied. Hmmm.

 I can really relate to this one. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the 3-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was that?”

When they were learning to talk, both of our grandsons learned colors quickly, but always mispronounced the word, yellow. They would say “lellow” every time we asked what the color was. That always brought a smile and sometimes a correction. It was cute, as long as they didn’t say that later. One day in each of their lives we heard them say, “yellow,” instead. On no. We looked at each other and realized they were growing up!

This story fits. The grandmother didn’t know if her granddaughter, Emily, had learned her colors yet, so she decided to test her. She would point out something and ask what color it was. Emily would tell her and was always correct. It was fun for both, so she continued. When leaving with her parents, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!”

A grandfather took his grandson, Billy, on a short trip. When they entered the vacation cabin, they kept the lights off until the door was shut to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies (we called them lightning bugs) followed them in. Noticing them before his grandfather did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

Sadly, we have several friends whose grandchildren live more than 2,000 miles away. They can’t be involved in their daily lives, but visit as often as possible. Thus we have this revelation. A 5-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.” And there you have it.

And finally, this grandpa was delivering several of his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another, “he’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close firmly saying, “They use the dogs to find the fire hydrants!” Now you know.

(Melanie Behrens –

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