Off The Hook: Thoughts by intense thinkers

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I don’t know the authors of these thoughts, but it is clear that some are written down by a man. You will see what I mean, later.

 This one is probably from a woman – A wise man once said … nothing.

I am sure this applies to mankind in general. Women may be more likely to talk since you must know that the average man speaks only about 25,000 words a day and the average woman about 50,000 words. Women complain that when a man comes home from work, he often has nothing to say. He claims he already said his words for the day. Hmmm. The real angle here is, people who speak less are wise, because you can’t learn anything while talking.

 Next one – Respect your elders; they graduated from school without the Internet.

Oh, how much help the Internet would have been for all of us who worked through school without it. I know everything we read there is not correct, but there are many good sources of information.

Next one – Why do I have to press “1” for English? Did America move?

This is a bit of a referral to the “hot button” immigration issue, but I am not campaigning about that. I am more interested in the fact that people are living in our country who seem to make little or no move to learn our language. I can’t imagine living in Mexico and not knowing what was going on around me with everyone speaking another language. I’ve studied a little Spanish, but you know, it’s a use it or lose it thing. Not too much Spanish being spoken in Marysville, but I bring it out occasionally, where applicable.

Next – Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.

This might be the male contribution I mentioned earlier. Now really, what is the actual problem here? Do women not communicate well or do men not listen? Men, my suggestion to you is, pay attention to those important people in your life.

Next – Vegetarian: Ancient tribal name for the incompetent villager who can’t hunt, fish or light fires!

This is an interesting observation and may have something to do with where this vegetarian craze originated. It may be a healthier way of life than mine, but I love a good cheeseburger. Vegetarianism is not happening at my house.

Next – Her decision-making skills closely resemble those of a squirrel when crossing the road.

I know you have all seen this. The squirrel is in front of your car. He darts to the left, then to the right and suddenly he goes straight ahead. I always try to avoid it. I’m not wild about squirrels, but I sure don’t want to hit one. It would ruin his day and mine.

This thought also may refer to my friend who can’t make a decision. She has a plaque on her wall that says, “Indecision may or may not be my problem.” It’s interesting to watch her try to navigate our world. I never have that problem. I can make a decision right away. It may not always be right, but I have decided quickly.

Next – Some things are just better left unsaid, and I usually realize it right after I say them.

Why is it some people just know how to sit quietly and listen to everyone else? Sadly there are many of us who must communicate our every thought, it seems, and not always at the proper time. I am fascinated by those who listen so well and choose their words carefully.

 Next – Camping: Where you spend a small fortune to live like a homeless person.

If you are an experienced camper you probably won’t get the humor in this, but I am not and I think it’s hysterical. Sadly, my idea of camping is a Holiday Inn without room service. I’ve certainly eaten and experienced an evening at a campfire and the beauty of it in the dark, but I like to go home to a bed in a house.

 And finally – If my body is ever found on a jogging trail, just know that I was murdered somewhere else and dumped there.

Running and certainly jogging have never been high on my list. I spend less time now on the tennis court and more on the pickle ball court because there’s not so much running. OK, I have a sore knee, but probably don’t have the stamina for jogging, either. This thought fits me perfectly.

Where do you stand on all these thoughts?

(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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