It’s the most dreaded time of year.
Seasonal depression? Nope.
Doldrum between major holidays? That’s a blessing.
Property tax bills arrived? Very sad, but that’s not it.
It’s time for the arrival of the Super Bowl squares, a topic explored in this week’s Journal-Tribune podcast.
Every year, the two-week runup to the Super Bowl offers youth and adult sports teams the opportunity to grab a quick $500.
If your are fortunate enough not to be encircled by sports culture, let me explain. Teams hold a fundraiser which aligns itself to the score at the end of each quarter of the big game. A grid is drawn with the numbers 0-9 randomly lined up across the top and down the side. This creates a 100-square grid spaces, each of which are sold for set price, generally $10.
The second digit of each team’s score create a combination to land on one of 100 squares drawn on a grid. For example, if the score is 7-14 after one quarter, the person who’s name is on 7,4 on the grid wins some money. When squares are sold for $10, each quarter generally pays out $125.
Quick math will tell you that $1,000 is taken in, while $500 is paid out. The rest is profit for the team.
I have a couple problems with these fundraisers. Despite already taking $500 off the top, there is often tremendous pressure to donate the winnings back to the team, especially when it’s a youth squad. So the best you can hope for in these contests is a 1-in-100 win, sprinkled with a side of guilt.
These days I honestly appreciate teams which run raffles as fundraisers. Two of the more popular versions see the winner get a gun of some type or a basket filled with random bottles of alcohol. I like these contests better because there is no pressure to donate a pistol or booze back to the kids.
The bigger issue I have is with the sheer number of Super Bowl square fundraisers that exist. I am certain I have been made aware of the existence of at least 20 such operations in the last week. It used to be that only a few would be in play, so I would buy a couple squares in each. At current volume, if I bought just one square in each available contest I would be over $200 fast.
I’m sure some of you are thinking “well, just buy from a couple people” and cap your spending. But there is a built-in shaming device to contend with. When the spaces are all sold and the numbers are attached, organizers generally post the grid all over social media. Each square contains the name of the person who purchased it. So, if I tell nine people I’m a little short of cash this week, but buy Super Bowl squares from another person, there is a good chance those in the shunned group will see my name smiling at them from someone else’s fundraiser board.
So pretty much the only alternative is to buy squares from nobody. It’s their own fault. A lack of creativity led to an over-saturated market.
If you want to earn my money now, you’ll have to get back to the tested measures of the past.
I’m sucker for a round of Bossie Bingo. It’s similar to Super Bowl squares except the grid is on the ground and a well-fed cow drops a bit of luck on the winning section.
–Chad Williamson is the managing editor at the Journal-Tribune.