Stopping the spread of COVID-19 has meant restricting large gatherings – including those mourning the loss of a loved one.
In light of the pandemic, local funeral homes are finding ways to support families even without public funeral services.
“In times like this, we really need each other,” said Laura Ingram of Ingram Funeral Home.
While funerals are exempt from Ohio’s Stay at Home order, they are bound by the president’s guidance that prevents gatherings of more than 10 people.
Ingram said each funeral home in Union County met about a month ago to discuss how to proceed safely.
She said each agreed to abide by guidelines set by the Ohio Funeral Directors Association and the Centers for Disease Control.
They include not allowing more than 10 people in the building at a time, restricting outdoor, graveside services to no more than 50 people and conducting in-person meetings with no more than two family members present.
For this reason, she said much of the logistical planning has shifted to phone conversations, although “it’s a lot easier to discuss these things in person.”
Currently, she said all services are private to limit the number of attendees.
Many families are choosing to hold a memorial service at a later date, but she said they still must decide who to invite to the private funeral.
“It’s a struggle,” Ingram said. “The biggest thing people need is support and it’s hard when you have to choose who can be there.”
Although services are limited right now, Scott Underwood of Underwood Funeral Home said celebrating the life of a lost loved one is essential, especially in otherwise trying times.
“It’s not like we can just say, ‘Sorry, we can’t help you now,’” he said.
For that reason, he said local funeral directors are working with families to help “make something significant” despite limitations.
In an effort to include as many loved ones as possible, Ingram, Underwood and Wilson funeral homes said they have turned to technology.
Each said they have prepared videos of funeral services and either provided them to families or livestreamed them online.
While unable to meet in person, Underwood said he’s encouraged individuals to find creative ways to connect with those who are grieving.
Along with social media, he said he has recommended people write cards to express condolences or show love.
“It’s a time where we can get back to basics,” Underwood said.
He said he hasn’t had to be “the bearer of bad news” because families want to work together to create services that keep their loved ones and the community safe.
“Everybody is aware of what they have to do,” Underwood explained.
Families are finding ways to show solidarity, Underwood said, while keeping a safe distance. He said he’s seen funeral processions that loved ones join without exiting their car afterwards.
Ingram said members of one family’s church spread out in a large yard and held up signs with messages of support.
She said grieving families have been “very gracious” and expressed “a lot of understanding.”
But, as a funeral director, Ingram said it can be difficult to comfort surviving loved ones while imposing the restrictions in place.
“We’re huggers,” she said of herself and her father, Daryl Ingram. “I miss being able to do that.”
Woody Wilson of Wilson Funeral Homes agreed that “the little things” funeral directors do on a daily basis have changed.
Rather than closeness, there is an emphasis on cleanliness and social distance.
Wilson said his funeral home has hand sanitizer throughout the building and he asks those present to wash their hands frequently. He said they’re trying to keep every surface as clean as possible, down to changing the pen for the registry book after each person signs it.
“That was never something we thought of before this started,” he said.
Regardless of the ways new safety precautions have changed things, Ingram said every funeral home in the area is working to “give everything we can” to support families.
“Everything is altered and it’s not how we want it to be, but it doesn’t feel like the human spirit has been diminished as far as celebrating someone’s life.
“That gives me hope,” Ingram said.