Important questions to ponder

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Just so you know, I am always here to help improve your useful knowledge, so today I have answers to questions you may have never considered! Some research was necessary, here. Hope you can use this information.
“How important does a person have to be before he or she is considered assassinated instead of just murdered?” What a good question. The death usually must have religious, political or social implications for an assassination. Just being famous doesn’t do it. For example, John Lennon was famous, but we don’t usually refer to his murder as an assassination. Now I hope you are old enough to remember who John Lennon was. Bet you can use this in the next trivia game.
“Why does a round pizza come in a square box?” This question has haunted pizza lovers for years … really? The explanation is simple. Some of it comes down to money. Square boxes are cheaper, easier to use and more stackable. The easier part refers to removing the pizza from the square box rather than a round one.
“Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? (They’re both dogs.)” Wrong, and I have some proof, I think. Goofy was invented in 1932 and originally called Dippy Dawg. (Does that mean he was a dog?) In 1939 his name was changed to Goofy and he was thought of as a dog with human features.
Well, now you’ll be surprised. Goofy is really a cow. What? Historians say his first girlfriend was Clarabelle the cow. Disney has produced an entire history of how he was originally a descendant of Aberdeen Angus cattle, but that wasn’t as cuddly as a dog, so they changed his persona. Now in his golden years, he is half dog and still with Clarabelle.
“Do the ‘Alphabet Song’ and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’ have the same tune?” That’s true and so does “Baa Baa Black Sheep.” I know it’s an earth-shattering revelation. For me it was an enlightening time of humming, singing (never good for me) and wondering why no one had mentioned this to me in the last 20 years?
Here’s another interesting part. That tune is based on a work by Mozart, which he got from a French tune from 1761.There is also a German and Hungarian Christmas Carol that uses this tune. Who knew? Maybe music majors do. I’ll bet you’ve already tried singing those songs now.
Here are more important questions for thought. “Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?” There’s no good answer to this, but I do it all the time!
“Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?” That’s an interesting question. It would seem some people must like it black and overly crisp. Have you ever mistakenly moved that control to high and seen the result … ugh. It usually means we have to start over with a new slice of bread, and the whole room smells like burned toast!
“Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they already know there is not enough money?” I’ll bet you’ve thought about this, too. Where is the penalty money coming from? Hmmm.
“Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?” Do they? I am not sure and fortunately have no experience here.
“Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?” We’ve had that problem with some trash bags that seem to be fused together. I surely don’t have the patience for that.
In this column in the past, I have been very hard on grocery stores and their difficult-to-open bags for fruit and vegetables. So now I have to admit that situation has improved. Thank you.
“How do dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?” That is an icky situation and so nice when we remove them!
And finally, “Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?” Something to think about today … not sure we’ll have an answer for a while.
(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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