Off the Hook

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Did you know when it was?

 It’s a celebration that few people talk about and, in fact, it was last Sunday, Sept. 9. It was National Grandparents Day. The celebration, or not, actually began in 1978. Did you know that?

 I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do on that day … maybe just be so happy for the chance to enjoy your grandchildren. In our family there have been so many funny things to remember from our grandchildren, especially when they were toddlers.

 When you first hear you’re going to be a grandparent, grandmothers, for sure, think about what they will be called when the grandchild is old enough to speak. There’s no point in actually spending too much time trying to decide if will be Nana, Gigi, Gram, Gramma, Granny, Meemaw, Savta, Geema, Bomma of Nonna. The list literally goes on forever. This could be stressful. It usually will be whatever your grandchild first starts calling you. Foofa does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? I am Grammy, however. The idea that no one is perfect is commonly held by    people with no grandchildren.

 Grandchildren have a lot of wisdom to impart to us, too. The funny things that grandchildren say can be amazingly profound. Here are some thoughts you may enjoy from somebody’s grandchildren (not mine!).

“Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.”

 “Grandparent don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn›t play hard or run. But, when they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.”

 “They don’t say, ’Hurry up’ and they wear glasses and funny underwear.”

“Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the grownups who like to spend time with us.”

 I love these stories from grandparents:

 “My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, ‘Did you start at 1?’”

 Then this grandfather said, “When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, ‘I’m not sure.’”

“Look in your underwear, Grandpa,“ he advised.  “Mine says I‘m 4 to 6.

 This is a great story. “After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, ‘Who was that?’”

 A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

 “A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, ‘Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.’ The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, warily. “How do you make babies?” “It’s easy,” replied the girl. “You just change y to i and add es.”

 “A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog›s duties.  “They use him to keep crowds back,“ offered one child. “No,“ said another, “he›s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,“ she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.“

 And finally, the real difference between a mom and a grandmother – at dinnertime the tired mom says, “You will get what you get and just deal with it.” The grandma says, “Do you want me to cut stars and hearts in your grilled cheese?”

“There’s nothing like a grandchild to put a smile on your face a lump in your throat and a warm feeling in your heart.

 And these are some of my favorites: “If nothing is going well, call your grandmother!”

“On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must’ve been out of town.”

(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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