Off the Hook – We all love this day

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Of course, we all know what Thanksgiving is now. In 1621 in Plymouth, Massachusetts, it was the celebration of the Pilgrims surviving their first year after they landed in our country from England. It was a rough time. They had suffered much, but enjoyed that festive day. Now we see how other people, many years later, look at Thanksgiving.
What does Thanksgiving mean to you? It can be a beautiful time of year when your family comes together to share a big meal, hug and tell family stories. Or it could be when your grandma drinks too much wine and asks you why you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe it’s both or neither, but for most of us, our memories of Thanksgiving are unique.
In preparation for the big day, some friends and family shared their best Thanksgiving stories. Some will make you laugh, but most of all, we should be thankful for the holiday ahead of us, when it’s finally OK to let your inner glutton show through.
Many people have stories of Thanksgiving craziness. We will begin with a really gross one not from any of my relatives.
He said, “Thanksgiving is not complete without our annual food fight. My cousins and sometimes the adults join in and all end up with sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes stuffed in our ears and hair.” Oh my gosh!
Another said, “Every year before dinner my mom would set aside a plate for each of our dogs with a little bit of everything from the table. That would be turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and dressing.” Not sure that’s great for the dogs.
This one may even be familiar to your family. “One year my aunt bought a pre-cooked turkey from the store, brought it home, put it in a pan in the oven and pretended she made it. Everyone believed her until several thanksgivings later when she confessed after one too many glasses of wine.”
Here are some more memories from those who won’t be identified.
“One year my parents and family friends decided to try this hot, new turkey recipe by a famous chef that included basting the turkey with mayonnaise for moistness. Turns out they should have left this famous chef‘s recipe to him, since the whole turkey came out black with the mayonnaise layer charred. It tasted pretty good though, once we scraped the burned layer off.”
“My mom got this really nice cream-colored tablecloth. Nobody was allowed to spill on it and all the kids were warned to be really careful. But then grandpa had a lot of red wine and he spilled it all over the tablecloth. It might only be funny if you know my grandpa.”
“For Thanksgiving, when I was in the seventh grade, my family had a bread roll shaped like little pumpkins. They were really tough to cut, so while trying to slice through the bread bowl, I accidentally stabbed myself with a butter knife and it bled for literally hours. It totally ruined my Thanksgiving and I still have a scar on my left middle finger from the whole incident.”
The Butterball hotline has been a staple helpline for many years. Here are some of their favorite stories.
“The father who was in charge of thawing the turkey and bathing his toddler twins decided to hit two birds with one stone. The hotline people could hear the water splashing in the background and turns out, he has the kids and the turkey in the tub all at the same time. The man was calling to find out if the bathwater would be an acceptable method for thawing the turkey.”
“A woman called the Butterball hotline to find out how long it would take to roast a turkey. To answer the question, the talk line home economist asked how much the bird weighed? The woman replied, ‘I don’t know, he’s still running around outside.’”
For Ohioans, Thanksgiving weekend means the end of the regular football season also known for the best rival football games and the best snacks. Of course many fans pile in the family room to watch the Michigan-Ohio State game.
Just so you know, none of these stories were from me or my family … but some could have been. Happy Thanksgiving and good eating to you all!
(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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