How much can you laugh?

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We have all heard of a pun. I’m pretty sure we learned about it in high school English class, but I actually had to look it up to see exactly what it meant.
So here’s the formal definition. “The pun, also called paronomasia, is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.”
In addition, “A pun is a play on words that takes advantage of two things: (1) the fact that some words with different meanings sound the same, such as “air” and “heir”; and (2) the fact that other words have more than one meaning, such as “case,” which can mean either a piece of baggage or an instance of a disease.” Got it?
Now we come to what I think should be award-winning puns. I don’t know who is so creative or who has the time to compose these, but everyone of them made me laugh. I hope they also brighten your day.
“I have a chicken proof lawn. It’s impeccable.”
“When the smog lifts in California, UCLA.”
“I hate this snow! No, wait. I love the snow! Signed Bi-polar bear.” (I have a friend who can’t make a decision. This might be her.)
“Beer nuts for sale $1.25 per bag. Deer nuts are under a buck. (Just no comment here).
“People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.”
“Huge fight at local seafood diner! Battered fish everywhere.” (What a mess).
“Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.” (Don’t you just love those candy bars!)
“Well, to be Frank, I’d have to change my name.”
“Our mountains are just really funny, they are hill areas.”
“Double negatives are a no-no in English.” (I have to really think about a double negative to comprehend what it actually means.)
“Irony, the opposite of wrinkly.”
“Turning vegan would be a big missed steak.”
“A cow stumbles into a pot field. The stakes have never been higher.”
“For chemists, alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution.”
“Ban pre-shredded cheese, make America grate again.” (hmmm.)
“If by crunches you mean the sound potato chips make, then yes, I do crunches.”
Then there’s this – “My uncle just texted me. What does IDK mean?” I replied, “I don’t know.” “Darn,” he said, nobody does!” (Will there be some who won’t get this?)
The last two are not really puns, but I loved the thoughts.
“The problem with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected.”
“Just because you are offended doesn’t mean you are right.”
Hope you are smiling now!
(Melanie Behrens – melb@marysvillejt.com)



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