Church and many things connected with it bring us peace in life and also are a good source of humor. These church related stories may make you laugh at the crazy circumstances. Be sure to read the last one!
“Two boys were walking home from Sunday School after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, ‘What do you think about all this Satan stuff?’ The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It’s probably just your Dad.’”
“Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, ‘Why is the bride dressed in white?’ The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.’ The child thought about this for a moment then asked, ‘So why is the groom wearing black?’” Hmmm.
“Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, ‘My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a poem, and they give him $50.’ The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a song, and they give him $100.’ The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!’”
“An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, ‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’”
“A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem? A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a babysitter.’”
“A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment, ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?’ Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’”
“One morning a grandmother was getting ready for church. Her grandson was going with her and she was surprised to find the seven-year-old had made her coffee. Smiling, she choked down the worst cup of her life. As she finished, she found three little green army men in the bottom of the mug. ‘What are these army man doing in my coffee?’ He smiled and answered, ‘Like it says on TV grandma, the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.’”
Now the quote of the week! I was actually present for this one at our church. The pastor was sitting on the steps leading to the altar with several youngsters for the children’s sermon. She was telling a story and using a black telescope with gold trim to demonstrate her point. It was a large one and not opened up yet, and it could have resembled a bottle. She held it up and asked, “Do you know what this is?” The four-year-old in the front row said loudly, “It’s a beer!” To me it didn’t exactly look like a beer, but who knows what brand there is at his home. The congregation really laughed.
(Melanie Behrens – firstname.lastname@example.org)
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