I love little children and the sometimes wacky things they say to me. So, I was pleased to hear this from an eight-year-old boy from California, recently. His third grade homework assignment was to explain God. We’ll call him Danny.
“One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them
to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of
things on earth. He doesn’t make grownups, just babies. I think that’s because they
are smaller and easier to make.”
“God’s second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of
this goes on, since some people, like pastors and things, pray at times
besides bedtime. God doesn’t have time to listen to the radio or TV because
of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise
in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.”
“God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere, which keeps him
pretty busy. So you shouldn’t go wasting his time by going over your mom and
dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t have.”
“Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t think there are any
in California. At least there aren’t any who come to our church.”
“Jesus is God’s Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water
and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn’t want to
learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they
crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his
father that they didn’t know what they were doing and to forgive them and
God said, OK.”
“His dad (God) appreciated everything he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn’t have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven, so he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself, without having to bother God, like a secretary, only more important.”
“You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they
got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.”
“You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if
there’s anybody you want to make happy, it’s God! Don’t skip church to do something you think will be more fun, like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway.”
“But you shouldn’t just always think of what God can do for you. I
figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.”
That child was sweet and darling and all that, but now we have this child! The story begins:
“Yesterday, I had a computer problem, so I called Georgie, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?’”
“He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, an, ID ten T error? What’s that? (In case I need to fix it again).”
“Georgie grinned, ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’
“No, I replied. ‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
“So I wrote down: ID10T.” The writer continued, “I used to like Georgie … the little creep!”
I loved the mother who said, ”Don’t make fun of me for not knowing everything about computers. I’m the one who taught you how to go to the bathroom!”
(Melanie Behrens – (melb@marysvillejt.com)